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The phone screen lights the dark room

I look down at his name across the screen

The deep pit crawls from the ache of my stomach into my chest

No matter how many days pass without a word from him

No matter the length of time he  can go without seeing me

I can’t seem to pull away

I lay in bed crunched into a tight ball

I want to reach for the phone but I already know what he says

He knows I’m vulnerable

He knows this hold he has on me

Beating after emotional beating, I long for his lust

I ache for his attention, and he knows this

Night after night I stare into blackness wondering all the why’s

Why can’t he succumb to these overbearing feelings like I have?

Why does he hide from the powerful pull he and I have on each other?

He knows this. I can’t turn away

I rise in the morning, exhausted from the overload of thoughts

Drained with the thought of facing yet another day

Will today be a day I cross his mind? Will tonight be a night he crawls into bed next to me?

The phone screens lights up the dark room

And ignites the uncontrollable twinkle he brings to my eye

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