So, after many years of being “alone”- although I didn’t spend a lot of nights alone and I seemed to have given my heart to those who were so undeserving of it- as cliché as it may be….I have found….THE ONE. And by God, he has NO IDEA what he’s in for.
It started on a dating site. You know the ones- they are free, because let’s be honest, at 30 years old if I had to PAY for a website to actually meet a decent human, then it wasn’t happening. So for 2 years I tickled with the idea of “dating sites”. Ness you should give this one a try. Ness have you heard of this one…it was an attempt of help from my sister and friends. My best friend would lecture me that I don’t need a man. My sister and sister in law would push for me to meet new people and plea with me to cut out all the douchies in my life. And man, there were some pretty big douchies. But let’s be real here, I was a single mom and worked full time. I didn’t have “time” and energy to give to someone I didn’t know. I stuck with what I knew…disappointment and regret. Story of my life, amIright? Moving on…..
So, free dating sites….what a joke. I mean, the guys I met on those sites were terrible. Drop dead sexy, but terrible for a girl like me. A girl who was used to and allowed guys to treat her the way they did. A girl who agreed with the “just for fun” guys, acknowledging that this is all just for fun, but secretly hoping he would change his mind and we would ride into the glistening sunset together….yeah. Riiiight. Single mom. Sooo much baggage I didn’t even realize it until I took the time to fully understand and realize it. So, one “pay-for” dating site had some promo- get 6 months free if you don’t meet someone in 6 months. What the hell. Let’s give this a try. Boy was that a rough year. I mean, who the hell PAYS for a dating site to meet girls if all they want is to hook up with them then never hear from them again? That’s borderline prostitution in my borderline personality mind (read: The Line that Borders My Personality blog)
Over the course of the year I logged in and out, disgusted with profiles and guys and messages. “These guys are so damn desperate” I would say to myself on a daily basis. Oh wait, I paid for this too. But for 3 months I really went in deep. I actually met guys. 3 of them to be exact. 2 of which I actually had a connection with and a good time, and 1 I really considered just because I was scaring myself into not being alone anymore. Thank GOD that didn’t pan out. But those 2 guys…ouch. And of course, doing what I know best, I hooked up with all 3 of them. The first night. Reflecting back on it I can see why they didn’t call back. Who would take a girl that puts out so easy, with any seriousness? But stalking their Instagram only showed that they were just as douchie as the current douchies in my life. Again, moving on….
Carlos, Chris and Tony. I would save them in my phone and associate them with which site I met them. “Tony Bumble” “Chris Match” and Carlos, by Carlos because he was the only Carlos I know. When I think about my interaction with these 3 I think of how desperate I must’ve been. One guy was 26. Twenty Six. He was 14 when I had my son. And he was as tall as me. I’m 5ft 3. But damn, I tried hard to make that work. Chris: he was fun. We had a great night and he couldn’t stop talking about how he and I would definitely see each other again. Only to…wait for it….never hear from him again. And Tony, That was pure loneliness and desperation as well. He was SOOO not my type. And then there’s THE ONE.
It was hitting my 6th month on this pay-for site and I was just about over it. Over the idea of meeting guys, giving them a try and wasting my time. Because again, I am either all in or not at all. There is no middle ground, take it slow and see where it goes. So there was one guy the kept popping up. Brady. He didn’t seem like my complete type, but hell what I thought was my type wasn’t working out. So here it goes: I’m about over this BS so let’s give it another shot and then I’m done. “Want to meet for dinner?” At this point, what the hell do I have to lose. Everything else I’ve tried has failed. “Sure”. And so on April 19 we met for dinner at BJ’s Brewhouse. I in my burgundy tank and some jeans, and he in a colored plaid button up and jeans…….